Comeback: from Being a People Pleaser

Confessions of a Former People Pleaser

So, I have a confession to make: I am a former people pleaser (that’s right).

And I know a lot of you who are watching right now are really kind of stricken by the same social disease — let’s just call it that.

I stopped people pleasing cold turkey about two years ago and this is what it took: Someone who I wasn’t particularly fond of accused me of being a people pleaser just so that people would like me.

Now, I love that I have people in my life who like me. I mean, it’s kind of the way that we socialize and the world goes around, but I’ve never been one to do something disingenuous in order to have someone like me.

So I kind of had to troubleshoot why I was such a people pleaser. And I came to this conclusion.

Happiness Loves Company

You know the term misery loves company? Well, it turns out happiness loves company, too. So I was literally trying to please people so that they would be a little bit less miserable so I could have some company in happy, and I think that’s the reason why people pleasers get a bad rep.

Because people honestly believe that they’re going out of their way just to be friends with them.

No, no, no, no my friends, that is not the truth.

But here is the point, people pleasers: If you’re out there and you’re still trying to figure out how to stop going about your day trying to make other people happy so that your happiness can also enjoy some freaking company for once, try this thought out just for size for one second.

If you are continuing to put all of your efforts and your energy into making other people happy in hopes that they become a more pleasant person, rest assured it is never going to happen. You will sooner run out of all of your time and energy putting it into someone who will never be satisfied because they can never be satisfied with themselves, so there’s certainly nothing that you can do as a people pleaser to please some satisfaction into these miserable people.

You Can’t Please Everyone… So Just Please Yourself

I would suggest that you do what I did, which ended up being such a blessing in disguise. I was not a fan of this person at all, but everything happens for a reason, and people come into your life for a reason.

So I know that he came into my life specifically for the sole purpose of letting me know that I do not need to go about my day trying to make other people more happy or more satisfied when they can’t find that within themselves.

It is my job to please me so that I am 100% for the people who authentically like me just because I’m me, and people authentically like you just because you’re you, too.

And you’re going to find the happiness to give your happiness just a little bit more company.

Comeback kids: If you have something to add to this or if you’d like to confess that you, too, are a people pleaser, hit me up on social media using the hashtag, #ComebackWithEricaCobb.

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